Family
by homestuckTroll
Summary: A DavexJade fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, potential fans. I'm homestuckTroll, an aspiring author. I decided to test the waters with fanfic writing, so tell me how I'm doing with this. This is my first story.**

** This is A DavexJade fic, with JohnxRose also there. It centers on the humans, but I might add in trolls eventually. The plot will be revealed within the first chapter, so I'm not going to write very much in the description here. All the characters are about 19, and live together in a large-ish house. And let's begin.**

Jade stands tentatively outside of her boyfriend's bedroom. She tries to get up the courage to tell him, but she can't.

_Well I've got to tell him eventually, he will find out._ She thinks to herself. In an attempt to get more courage, she thinks about the conversation she had with her brother earlier that day.

"Don't worry, Jade," John had told her. "He'll take it just fine."

"But I just can't help it," She said nervously. "What if he flips shit and leaves me on my own?"

"He won't flip his shit. He's too cool for that," John said to comfort her. "Besides, he's really protective of the people he cares about. Remember when I started dating Rose a couple years ago?"

They both reminisced in the flashback of Dave flipping out. (We now attempt the highly dangerous flashback-ception.) He had screamed at John about protecting Rose under any circumstances or he would disembowel him, cut his head off, and poke it on a steak in his room.

The kids break off from the flashback. "While that was reassuring, I'm still nervous. But thanks anyway."

Jade fades out from that flashback. Her heart racing with nervousness, she opens Dave's door.

"Dave?" She asks, hands shaking.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"I've, um, got to tell you something."

"What is it?"

Suddenly her narcolepsy kicks in, and she falls onto the floor.

Dave, almost laughing, carries her to her bed, and lays her down gently. She awakens with a start.

"Did I fall asleep?"

"Yes, you did," Dave says, trying to stop chuckling.

"Stop laughing!" Jade throws a pillow at him, but she is laughing a little herself.

"So what was it you needed to tell me?" Dave inquires.

"Dave…" She says, faltering. "I… I'm… I'm pregnant."

**End of chapter one.**

** So, how was that? Try reading it again, but with the knowledge of what the secret is. There will be more updates, probably within a couple days, at latest. I'm on break, so I can write all the time. Please R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I promised a new update, so here it is. It's not the best, but I'm not feeling very creative right now. So have a wall of dialogue.**

Dave is in shock. "You… you are? Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Wow…" Dave says, at a loss for words. "Who else knows?"

"John does. I told him earlier. And he might have told Rose, but no one else."

"I will help you with this, Jade. You won't have to do this alone." He grabs her hands. "How far along are you?"

"About a month and a half."

"My birthday was about that long ago," The blond boy notes sheepishly.

"Not the worst birthday present, I'd say," Jade says, a slightly higher tone of voice.

They sit up on the bed awkwardly for a minute or so.

Jade breaks the silence. "Shit, Dave, I'm kind of scared. I mean, I'm 19 years old. And so are you. We're too young to be parents. What if we can't take care of him or her?"

"Or him and her. It could be twins," He jokes.

"Don't even joke about that."

"Don't worry Jade. We're here for you. I'm here for you. We can do this."

**Yeah, that could probably be a lot better. Well, it is what it is. I'm probably going to write a better next chapter tomorrow.**

** On another note: I'm thinking about adding Casey as a human as Johns adoptive cousin/ sister. But I don't know which. I'll probably flip a coin. Heads, sister; scratch, cousin.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, here's chapter 3. I'm trying to do this as well as I can, but I'm not really sure the best way to progress. But bear with me, it will hopefully get better.**

_The next morning_

"Rose, I have something to tell you," Dave says, brushing his bed head out from his eyes (hidden behind his sunglasses, of course).

"What is it?"

** "**Um, well…"

"C'mon, Dave, you can tell me."

"I'm going to be a father," He blurts out.

Rose shakes her head sadly.

"Seriously?" Dave asks, slightly angry. "You don't have to be condescending about it."

"But I just can't believe you went and did that! With your best friends sister! With my best friend!" She shouts, getting angrier.

"Rose, please just help us out here. It may not be the most convenient, but please. You're his or her aunt. Don't get mad."

The girl calms down slightly. "But with John adopting Casey as his cousin and now this, it's going to be hard."

"Speaking of Casey, when is she coming back from visiting LOWAS?"

"Tomorrow afternoon, and don't change the subject. It's just… scary, thinking that we'll have a newborn baby, a ten year old girl, and 4 almost 19 year olds. And who else knows?"

"Jade told John, then me, and now I'm telling you. So all four of us know, and soon Casey."

"And am I the only one who even gets the magnitude of the situation?"

"Well, Jade was a bit scared, but John and I promised to help out. But we need you, and Casey, to help. Are you in?"

"Yes, Dave, I will help you. But nothing more for a little while after this, okay?"

"I promise. And thank you, Rose. If we got through Sburb, we can get through this."

**Well, looks like another, longer wall of dialogue this time. Bluh bluh. I'm not at my best, creatively, at the moment. Which sucks, because it's the time I get to write the most. I hope I can do better soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

** Well, I'm back with the quick(ish) updating fanfic. This is probably going to be a short chapter, because there's not very much to write. I actually have fans \^o^/, so clearly it's not horrible, but I'm a little out of my genre here. This is the chapter with Casey in it.**

_The next afternoon_

"I'm home!" Casey shouts as she walks through the door.

"Hi Casey how was- OOMPH!" John gets cut off by his adoptive cousin tackle hugging him.

Casey brakes away from the hug to hug Jade. "Hi Jade!" Casey yells, running towards her.

"Interception!" Dave shouts, running to pick up Casey and sweeping her up in another hug. Casey shrieks with laughter.

"You can't tackle hug Jade, but if you calm down, you can still get her," Casey calmly walks over to her and gives her a hug.

Rose wanders into the room just in time to get a special jump hug from the kid. "Hi Casey. We missed you."

"And we have something important to tell you," Jade says.

"What is it?" Casey asks, surprised by the sudden change of mood.

"Dave and I are having a baby." **(Guess who said that. You'll never get it.)**

"Do you love it?" Casey asks.

"Of course we do," Jade answers.

"Then why did you eat it?" Casey asks, in a moment of confusion.

The older kids laugh. "No, Casey," John starts to explain. "You don't eat babies. You have them by…"

"John, no," Rose tells him.

"Come on, sis," Dave says, "Let the boy speak."

"NO!" Rose and Jade yell. "Both of you knock it off."

The boys leave the room, doubling over with laughter.

Casey, being smart enough not to ask what he was going to say, changed the subject. (But she made a mental note to ask John or Dave about it later.) "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"We don't know yet." Jade answered.

John made an inappropriate joke, causing him and Dave to laugh even harder.

"John, you're being a bad example in front of your cousin!" Rose shouts through the wall.

"Just ignore them, Casey." Rose advised her.

**Yeah… **

** Anyway, I'm going to continue this later tonight or tomorrow, probably taking place a couple months ahead.**


	5. Chapter 5

** Well, I did this quickly. 2 updates in one night! (Unless I don't upload it until tomorrow morning.)**

_Roughly 3 months in the future._

Dave knocks on Jade's door. "Jade? Jade! Please let me in."

"I don't want to see you!" Jade shouts through the closed door.

"Come on Jade, please."

"No, Strider. GO AWAY!"

_Meanwhile, upstairs _

"Why is Dave trying to get into Jade's room?" Rose asks John, who's drawing on a piece of paper.

"I think he's trying to apologize."

"What did he do?"

"He asked Jade about her old boyfriend."

"Didn't he know that's a touchy topic and that he should never under any circumstances talk about it with anyone?"

"Do you think he did?" John asks.

"Point taken. So what're you drawing?"

"Us." John shifts the picture so she can see.

It was a picture of Jade holding a baby with Dave standing next to her. Rose stood nearby, holding hands with John, who was stopping Casey from hugging the baby in an overenthusiastic gesture of affection.

"John, that's beautiful!" Rose says. "I didn't know you could draw."

"Me neither. I just started to draw, and then I got this."

_Back to downstairs._

"Jade!" Dave shouts through the door. "Please stop! I thought you were more reasonable than this."

"Are you saying I'm being unreasonable?"

"Yes." Dave says. "You're not usually, but this is too much. And when you act unreasonable, I help you through it. So let me help you through it."

"Why did you do it?" Jade asks. "Why would you ask something like that? You don't ask people about their previous relationships."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize how much he hurt you. I was just trying to…"

"Trying to what?"

"I don't even know. Get to know you're past. Know what not to do. Know how to help you. Apparently, I learned the last two. This and not this respectively. So can you please-"

He was cut off when Jade flung open the door and kissed him.

**Aaaawwww (8). I'm writing another fic (sort of a ship wall) so go check that one out, too.**


	6. Chapter 55

** This is a short chapter, and not actually a chapter. This is just a jokey chapter, where… you'll see what happens.**

"John, where do babies come from?" Casey asks this while he's sitting around with Dave.

"To have a baby, you have to have sex." John answers.

"What's sex?"

"Dave, you want to do this one?"

He explains it.

"EEEEWWWW!" Casey shouts, in disgust.

"You asked it, you face the answer." Dave says.

"But you only do it with people you really love, who are not family, much younger than you, or animals," John tells her.

"Why do people do it?"

"Either to have kids, or because it feels nice."

"And you did that with Jade?" Casey asks/figures out.

"Apparently" Dave says stupidly.

"EEEEWWWW!"

**And the conversation continued in a fashion similar to this, with multiple EEEEWWWWs and ending with a pact to not to tell Rose or Jade.**


	7. Chapter 6

** Hopefully another night of many updates. Anyways, I hope you liked the last chapter (5.5), but I'm probably not going to write anything like that in this fic.**

_1 month later._

Everything was going great for the 5 of them. Dave, John, and Casey enjoy a good laugh from time to time. Rose was making sure everything would be ready for the kid(s). A doctor had diagnosed the baby healthy. Dave and Jade stopped fighting. It seemed like nothing would go wrong.

Until Rose comes along with a problem. "Where's the kid going to sleep?"

The kids live in a 4 bedroom house. John sleeps in one, Rose in another, Dave and Jade in a third, Casey in a small one.

"Well it's not going to sleep in John's room," Jade points out.

"Don't you trust me?" John jokes.

"Well, there's no room in your room, or Casey's" Rose points out.

"What about your room?" Dave asks Rose.

"The room is too far away. If the kid cries and Rose doesn't know how to respond, we can't get there quick enough." Jade answers him.

"So, we have someone who can't have a baby in his room, someone whose room is too far away from the parents, and two rooms that are too full," Dave summarizes.

"Let's sleep on it," Rose decides, "And maybe we'll have an answer.

The 5 kids retreated to their rooms.

"You know…" Dave starts.

"What?" Jade says, crawling into her bed.

"We could probably make room in here. If we move the desk to the door and push our beds together, we could probably fit a crib in here."

"Push the beds together you say. Hmm."

**You could probably tell how it went from there. :-J (What even is that emoticon? Who's this douchebag?)**


	8. Author's note

** Authors note: Although I am trying to continue with this, I'm having a bit of trouble. I have no idea what to write next. The last chapter was really just me winging it because I wanted to update. So if anyone has any suggestions, please write them in the review section.**


	9. Chapter 7

** I managed to get an idea, not sure if it's any good. Apparently, me previous chapters made someone rage quit "****THIS FONDOM FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF****  
****WWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YY"**

_A week or two later_

"John, have you seen Jade anywhere?" Dave asks.

"I think she's in her room."

He knocks on her door.

"Come in."

He walks in to see Jade lying on her bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just sad."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm just sad."

"I'll be right back." _Damn mood swings._

He runs around the house collecting items. Chocolate, flowers, chocolate flowers, etc. Then he walks back into Jade's room.

"I got some stuff." He said.

"Thanks."

He puts it down on her bed and sits down on his.

"The flowers smell good." Jade says.

"I thought so."

"Pretty soon, I won't be allowed to move. Just sit here on the 2 beds put together."

"Don't worry, I can help you."

Kiss kiss.

**Yeah, that was sort of shit. Sort shit. Whatever.**


	10. Chapter 8

** Well, it looks like I'm finally back (because 2-3 weeks off is totally a super long time). I'm going to try to work on the fics, play Minecraft, and watch YouTube for an even amount of time. I have more time because homestuck ended (Caliborn, WHAT DID YOU DO!) so hopefully there will be bountiful updates.**

The four kids walk through the scratched world. They are going on a double date because they hadn't had a group outing in awhile (sitting in a house together does not count as a group outing).

As they walk to the restaurant, someone walks towards them.

"You! Black haired girl!"

"Me?" Jade asks.

"Yeah! Are you pregnant?" The woman shouts.

"Yes, why?"

"How'd you get pregnant?"

Rose responded to this one. "A magical unicorn cut her open and put the fetus inside her and healed her with magic powers." The kids laugh at this.

"You and the father are heathens and you're going to go to hell and burn forever!"

The four kids look at each other with an expression of mock scaredness. Then they start to laugh. After their SBurb session, nothing scared them.

"Fire! Brimstone, Dave! Are you scared of lava?" John asks, thinking to LOHAC.

"Yeah! I'm so scared! Look lady, I'm going to have a kid whenever I want. Furthermore, this is America, and my girlfriend and I can do whatever we want as long as we're not disobeying our parents or breaking the law. And we did none of those things, so go the fuck away."

The woman, surprised at their mock fear and sudden aggression runs away.

"That was a bit harsh." Rose points out.

"Well, someone who didn't know us just came up and yelled at me. I did what anyone would do."

"Let's not let us ruin our evening together," John interjects. "The restaurant is right around the corner."

There's a 45 minute wait. The entrance room is full of families with bored looking kids.

John starts doing card tricks. He has a kid pick a card. He puts the deck in his pocket. Then, a card ejects itself from his sleeve.

"Is this your card?" John asks.

The kid looks up in amazement. "How'd you do that?" He asks

"Do you promise you won't tell anyone?" John asks.

"I promise, I promise!"

"I'm a wizard," John whispers to the kid. "Don't tell anyone!"

He puts on more tricks, and eventually they are let in.

"You really are good with kids," one of the women in the room compliments him.

"Thank you."

They sit at their table. Of course, the conversation goes straight to baby talk.

"Do you know if it's going to be a boy or a girl?" Rose asks.

"No idea."

"Do have any ideas for names?" John asks.

"No."

"All we know," Dave starts, "is that regardless of its gender or name, we'll love it."

"Awwwwwwww!" John says. Jade smiles goofily.

"Enough from you, majyyks boy." Dave says.

**That wasn't really DaveJade until the end, but I hope it was funny. The woman in the beginning was based of someone who works in a store in my town. She tells everyone who to run their lives. Check back within a few hours, I'll hopefully have added another chapter by then. R&R plz**

**Future homestuckTroll (FCT) has posted to this page 413,000,000 years in the future**

**Either I just forgot how to upload fanfic or the website's not working (hopefully the latter) but this will come later than implied above. This may be the only family update when you see this. There'll probably be another update to my weird shipping wall, so check that out when you see this. If it's not there, that means something started working. I don't know because this is post apocalyptic Earth with only the god ties left**


	11. Chapter 9

** Hmm, I think I'll try again. It's probably not going to be very good. I'm going to try some sort of fluff, but I'm going to face it: I'm not very good at it. But I'll try.**

Dave had gone to get a job. Rose and John had gone too, but for them only part time. Jade couldn't because she was far enough along to go in maternity leave immediately.

"Honey, I'm home!" Dave shouts.

"How'd searching go?"

"I got a job." He slides his hands into hers.

She kisses him. "Sweetie, that's great!"

He tells her the information **(I couldn't think of a good idea)**

"Perfect! Go to work at a decent salary for 2 days, get a day off, and go to work for 2 days, get off early on Friday, and take off Saturday and Sunday."

"I got that extra time on Friday for a reason, you know."

Jade laughs.

"You have the cutest laugh."

Jade pulls him over to the couch. "Do you think it sounds" she paused, flipping her hair, "sexy?"

It was Dave's turn to laugh at her joke. "Yes, I do."

"I have to ask you something." Jade asks, in a sudden change of tone.

"Ask away."

"Dave Strider," she started, getting down on a knee. _Oh my god, is this actually happening _Dave thought to himself.

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Jade, I would love to marry you. I would want nothing more."

**Awwwwwwww! 33333333 (that just looks like a bunch of 3s because symbols don't show up). I actually wasn't expecting that to happen when I wrote it, it just kind of got to that point…**

** Anyway, don't forget to R&R, and check out my other fic if you haven't already.**


	12. Chapter 10

** Well, I've got to start wrapping this up, unfortunately. There's still awhile to go. And for the people who have read the reviews and saw that I agreed with the plans for a recommended ending: it's not the actual ending. It's ending 1 of 3.**

The 4 teens and Casey are on a cruise ship. Dave, ecstatic that the boat had apple juice, is in his cabin drinking it. John and Rose are strolling around the deck, and Casey and Jade are eating sandwiches.

"So Casey," Jade starts, "Are you excited for the new kid?"

"Yes! I can't wait!"

"Remember, kids are fragile, so no tackling it."

"I know, I know. But I can still hold it, right?"

"As long as you're careful with it."

"Hey, Dave!" John shouts down to him. "Planning on coming up anytime soon?"

"Yeah Dave!" Rose adds. "Your fiancée is waiting. And there's a dance tonight. I'm sure she'd like a date!"

"Alright, I'm coming. But dammit, I'm bringin' my apple juice!"

"Dave, you're addicted to that stuff. But if you need us to help get over it, we're here for you."

"Shut up, Egbert."

He switches tactics. "Davie's got a girlfriend, Davie's got a girlfriend!"

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock."

He tries again. "So Dave, are you ready to be a stay at home dad and watch over the kid?"

"Egbert, shut the hell up!"

Dave strolls over to Jade and Casey.

"Hey Dave, guess what!" Casey shouts.

"What?"

"Jade likes you!"

"Casey, you weren't supposed to tell him that!"

"What is this, make fun of Dave day?" He asks.

"Aw, was mean old Egbert making fun of you?" Jade asks.

"He tried. Do you want to dance with me tonight?"

"Jade, I think he likes you back!" Casey laughs.

Dave kept a poker face, but behind his sunglasses he was looking into Jade's bright green eyes.

"Yes, I'll dance with you."

_Later that evening_

Dave and Jade danced around the deck, along with John and Rose and a large amount of other couples. Casey was running around and trying to prank John and Dave.

A couple minutes in, Jade lets out a small groan.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so."

A little while later, she lets out a louder groan, and looks shocked.

"You still okay?"

"I think my water just broke!"

**Cliffhanger! (Oh god oh god what do I do?) The next chapter, not the end, (someone help, what do I do?) is coming sometime soon. (Who do you talk to on a boat when you go into labor?)**

** Don't forget to R&R (someone help!)**


	13. Chapter 11

** Okay, finally back with this (or did it just seem like a long time because of Caliborn's influence?) and where did we leave off… oh yes. Jade going into labor. (Oh my god what do we do what do we do?)**

Dave rushes over to the medically trained professional on the vessel, also known as the boat doctor.

"Well, kid, you seem perfectly fine, so what seems to be the problem?"

"We think my girlfriend is going into labor."

"Well, bring her over and I'll see if you're correct."

At that moment, Jade comes around the corner, escorted by John and Rose.

She enters the doctor's office, and they talk for a couple minutes. Then the doctor comes out of the office.

"Well, it seems that you're correct. But don't worry, I'll help you two along every step of the way."

"We'll be with you too, Dave." John said.

"Thanks guys. I'm just really nervous."

"You're nervous? Jade's the girl who's getting a kid shoved out of her!" John said.

"Not for me, for her."

Dave walked into Jade's room. John and Rose tried to follow, but they were stopped.

"Sorry, kiddos. Parents only."

"But that's my sister in there!"

"No buts, kid. You can see your family after this ordeal."

"John, there's no point in trying. Let's just wait out here." Rose successfully pulled of the _stubborn convincement_ move. John has given in!

_Meanwhile, in the room_

"Jade, you doing okay?"

"Yeah, no pain yet." **Note- I have no idea what I'm doing**

__"Well, you don't need to worry. After this is over, we'll have a baby boy or girl."

"Or both."

"Please, no."

**The author tries a 3x cliffhanger combo. It succeeds, and you have to wait even longer.**


	14. Chapter 12

**It's been a long time since I updated this (and left you with the 2x cliffhanger combo), but of course I come back. I'll always come back. ALWAYS.**

Rose had left the room, but came back a little while later with Casey.

"Is it true? Jade's having the baby now?"

"Yes, Casey, it's true," John responds.

Jade lets out a moan of pain from the other room.

"Is the baby hurting her?" Casey asks, bewildered.

"Not on purpose," Rose tells her.

"Oh, Okay. How long does this take?"

"We're not sure, none of us have ever done this before," John tells her.

"How come Jade's having the kid and not Dave?"

"Dave lost the coin toss," John jokes. "Maybe he'll win next time."

"John, that's not funny," Rose tells him. "Only girls get to have kids."

"How much does it hurt?" Casey asks.

"Take your bottom lip, and pull it over your head."

"John, stop quoting Bill Cosby and answer seriously."

"Well, then I don't know!"

_Meanwhile, in the other room._

"Augh, Dave, it hurts!"

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do." Dave's phone goes off. John sent him a video clip. He plays it, and it goes through Bill Cosby's entire "Natural Childbirth" routine.

"So, how I understand it," Dave starts, "is that I'm supposed to be the cheerleader. I cheer you on, while you breathe in and out."

"Yeah, that's real helpful."

"He's just trying to take your mind off of this, the only way he knows how. Give him a little credit."

"Okay, I guess you're- augh- right, but if there's- ow- nothing he can do to make the kid hurry up, then it's not incredibly- argh- helpful. God dammit, this hurts so freaking much."

The doctor knocks on the door and re-enters the room.

"Alright, Jade, I contacted one of your previous doctors and he emailed me your medical file. Just in case, it probably won't be necessary."

"Okay, great. But can you please help this hurry up?"

"Sure, whatever you want. When I tell you to push… you push. Get it?"

"Yeah, I get it. Just tell me when."

"Now, for the next couple minutes, I need you to resist the urge to push."

She manages to resist the urge.

"Okay, now push."

She pushes, and… a kid comes out.

"Congratulations, you two. You are the parents of a healthy baby girl."

Jade sighs in relief. Dave smiles. The doctor hands the kid wrapped in a blanket over to Jade.

"Now, because you are 19, I've got to ask," He began. Dave groans. "How are you two planning on supporting this kid? The file said that your guardians died, so…"

"We've got friends, and they're willing to help," Dave tells him.

"Well, that's good. What are you going to name her?"

"I don't know. Can we talk about it for a while?" Dave asks.

"Take as long as you want, but I can't let you leave until you name the kid."

After a few minutes of talking, they decided on Jane.

"Jane Strider. It has a nice ring to it," The doctor said. He clothed the kid, and told them they were free to go. They walked outside, and John, Rose, and Casey greeted them.

"Yay! Kid!" Casey yelled.

"What's her name?" Rose asked.

"Jane Strider," Jade said.

"It sounds beautiful."

**}:o)**

** It's not the ending yet. They still have to get married!**


	15. Chapter 13

**Welcome to the first 2 day consecutive update in multiple weeks. I don't have much to say so I'll just cut to the story.**

Dave and Jade lay next to each other in their beds. Although they had made room by pushing their beds together, a crib still couldn't fit. So Jane had to sleep in the living room until further arrangements could be made.

As the two of them sleep, Dave starts hearing noises.

"Jade," he whispers, "did you hear that?"

"Mph. No, go back to sleep." Another noise was heard, and then a baby's cries could be heard.

"Okay, I heard that," Jade says. Dave grabs his sword and goes into the living room.

He saw Noir. Jack Noir. And he was trying to scoop up Jane.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with my daughter?" That was the first time he had ever actually said _my daughter_, and that was the first time he realized that half of her DNA was his, even though Jade had carried her and gave birth to her. And seeing Jack trying to kidnap her filled him with rage. "Put. Jane. Down," he growls. "NOW!"

Noir growls in return. Dave puts his sword in Noir's face. Jane is bawling. Noir uses his own sword. Dave knocks it across the room. In one quick swoop, Dave bounds past Noir, safely grabs Jane, and ends behind Noir with his sword in front of his neck. "I'm going to let you go just this once. If you ever come into this house again, I will kill you without a second thought." Noir growls at this. Dave tightens his sword. "That is what happens when you go after a boy's baby girl. Now leave." He loosens his grip on Noir, but keeps it in an offensive pose. Jane calms down slightly at Dave's comforting hold. Noir slinks out of the room. Dave sits down on his couch holding Jane. Jade enters the room.

"Dave? What happened?"

"Noir came back," he says, passing Jane, now sleeping, to Jade. "But I scared him off."

"How the hell did John and Rose sleep through that?" Jade puts Jane back into the crib, being careful not to wake her.

"Maybe they're not sleeping," Dave says. "I'm going to go check on them." Fortunately, John and Rose where sleeping and not dead.

"Dave, I really am scared of Noir. I don't want Jane to be hurt."

"She won't get hurt, I promise," Dave assures her. "We're going to get married, watch Jane grow up, watch John and Rose get married, have more kids, John and Rose will have kids, and repeat the cycle with our kids. No one is going to be injured by an insane creepy murderer."

"Dave, I really hope you're right."

"If Noir comes back, I will kill him. Jane will not die." He kisses her. "She will grow up to be a beautiful woman, just like you."

"Okay, I believe you. Now let's go back to bed."**  
**

**That chapter was very different from the rest of them, but I hope you liked it anyway. The chapters next week will be back to normal. (Obvious spoiler: They get married)**


	16. Author's note 2

** Hey y'all. I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I have lots of shit to do because it's almost the end of school and all, and I'm attempting to write a novel, and yeah. But I have gone through the fic and changed stuff, so you can go read that. Changes are-**

** Basic grammar mistakes**

** Tweaking the scene where the lady screams at Dave and Jade**

** And that's about it. If you have any suggestions for what I should do next, PLEASE TELL ME OH MY GOD I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT AUGH HEY WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS HELP I'M CLUELESS PLEASE HELP! AUFJHDLSDHFBJDSNLDKJFGHIUEWRHGJUANDSKNAKJ;NFKJANDK JFGDEXTERMINATEK;ADFJNVJANNNBJ;FHGIUGHALDFBN!**


	17. Chapter 14

** Finally back! In this chapter, Rose and Jade are out shopping for a wedding dress, Dave is out buying a tuxedo, and John is home taking care of Jane and Casey. Also there are human trolls on repeated request for there to be trolls.**

"John! Jane won't stop crying!" Casey shouts. John groans and descends to the ground floor of the building.

"Jane, stop crying." John commands. She doesn't. "Well, I think we're out of options. C'mon Casey. Let's hide out upstairs."

"John!"

"Fine. I'll ask Jade."

(Switch scene to Rose and Jade)

"Do you really think it was a good idea to leave John alone with Casey and Jane?" Rose asks.

"Well, you needed to come with me, and Dave had to leave, so it's better than leaving them alone."

"Obviously, but couldn't you hire a babysitter or someone who knows how to take care of children?"

"Do you have enough money to hire a babysitter?"

"Good point. Oh look, we're here."

They walk into the store, when Jade gets a text.

_John: Why won't Jane stop crying?_

_ Jade: She's probably hungry. Check the fridge._

_ John: Ok._

_ John: She still won't stop crying._

_ Jade: Get a pacifier._

She pockets her phone again.

"Rose?" a somewhat familiar voice asks.

Rose turns around. "Kanaya? Is that you?"

"Yeah! It's good to see you again."

_John: I can't find a pacifier!_

_ Jade: Check in the nursery._

"So what brings you here?"

"Jade is looking for a wedding dress because she's getting married."

"OH! That's great! Come over here, there are great dresses here."

_John: She still won't stop crying!_

_ Jade: Just a second._

_ Jade: Dave when are you going to come home?_

_ Dave: Idk Karkat's shouting at me about something._

_ Jade: John apparently is not in the best person to take care of our child, especially when she is a crying 1 month old._

_ Dave: Ok I'll get home as soon as I can._

(Switch scene to John)

"John! Jane is still crying!"

"I know. I tried everything."

"What if you and Rose decide to have kids and then you can't take care of the kids?"

"Rose will take care of the kids and I'll be the guy who tries to help and just makes things worse."

"Don't think like that. You'll be the guy who works a lot to support everyone."

"I know you meant well, but that seriously did not help."

A loud noise is heard from downstairs. "HAVE NO FEAR, THE COOLKID IS HERE!"

Jane stops crying almost immediately.

"How did you do that?" John asks.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Dave says.

**And then Rose and Jade come home and everything is happy, and then tomorrow there's another chapter and flowers and rainbows and alicorns and happiness. Probably trolls.**


	18. Chapter 15

** The first part of the chapter is from Dave's perspective; the second part is a third person viewpoint.**

My name is Dave Strider, and today is probably the best day of my life. I just got married to the girl of my dreams, after having a beautiful daughter with her.

Months ago, after learning that I was going to be a father, I was pretty scared. We were 19; we thought we were too young to be parents. As time went by, I got more and more nervous. I tried not to show it.

When we were on that boat and Jade went into labor, I started panicking, big time. Fortunately, I managed to get to a doctor. And the baby was born healthy.

For some reason, Noir came back. And I will keep my promise; I will kill him next time he comes. No one will hurt my baby girl.

We had to promise Rose not to have any more kids until we're older. I think we've had enough kids for 2 nineteen year olds.

John is intent on getting Jane's first words to be either "prank" or "quote". I have no idea why he wants her to say quote. He's recruited Casey to help him.

Now? I don't know what we're going to do now. Most people go on honeymoons, but with a newborn we don't really want to. We'll probably just relax at home for a while.

_(Part 2. This is sort of an epilogue, telling what happens in the next two years)_

A surprisingly low amount of big things happened, but there are some good ones. Jack Noir never came back. Jane learned to talk. Her first word was "cookie", much to John's dismay. Casey learned to rock climb, and plans on teaching the skill to Jane. "When will she be able to learn?"

One day, John and Rose got married. A few weeks later, Rose has an announcement to make.

**You can probably tell what it was. She's pregnant, for those of you who couldn't. It (should) suddenly occur to you how obvious that was.**

**But, as you can clearly see at the top, this story is completed. If you want a sequel to this, say so in the reviews. If I get 13 requests to make a sequel, I will do so. Only one guest review can count for the vote, because if anyone really wants a sequel they can sign out and do a bunch of guest reviews. If you are completely and totally sick of stories like this, it would be preferred if you do not say so in the reviews. If you don't want a sequel and I start to write one, just don't read it. It's that simple.**

**The end!**


End file.
